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talked this much before."
236
A Strong Hand
by Catt Ford
Nick laughed. "I think I pissed you off too much before,
always dropping stuff and falling over your equipment. How
come you didn't fire me?"
"There was something about you, Nicky, always something
that spoke to me," Damian said.
"You mean, you knew that I was ... am submissive ... right
from the start?" Nick asked uneasily.
"No, of course not, although you were kind of a brat,"
Damian chuckled. "Are you embarrassed about wanting to
submit to me?"
"Not when we're alone, but I don't think I'd want anyone
else to know," Nick said hesitantly.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Nicky. It takes a strong
man to surrender to another person," Damian said, stroking
the thick glossy hair. "You should be proud that you're brave
enough to claim your desires instead of cowering in fear."
"You don't think it's weird, what we do?"
"Human behavior comes on a spectrum. We're just a little
more towards one end than most people," Damian said. "Like
being gay, we're a minority. But we're not hurting anyone "
"Other than me," Nick joked.
Damian laughed. "You're always surprising me."
"You always surprise me," Nick claimed. "That's part of
what's so ... so exciting."
"Believe me, I can tell you're going to keep me on my
toes," Damian said ruefully and an awkward silence fell
between them when he realized that his comment intimated
that they had a future together.
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A Strong Hand
by Catt Ford
"I hope to," Nick said quietly, turning his face away so that
Damian couldn't see his eyes.
Damian rushed into speech, saying "Even if you decide you
would prefer not to continue with the spanking, I think I
would always end up dominating you in bed. It's just how I
am. And I think it feels natural for you to let me take the
lead."
"Yeah, it does, but...."
"But?"
"I liked what you said about this being a collaboration,"
Nick said, not sure he was quite expressing what he felt.
"It's a partnership. I could do nothing to you without your
permission." Damian stopped short, realizing he had almost
addressed Nick as "my love." Pet wasn't appropriate in this
situation and baby felt too casual. But he wasn't ready yet to
declare himself; he needed a little time to know his own
heart.
"That's good to know," Nick said thoughtfully. He picked up
the remote and started flipping through the channels on TV.
Damian wondered if Nick just didn't want to talk about it
anymore, even though the conversation felt unfinished to
him. "What the hell are we watching?"
Nick set the remote down out of Damian's reach. "Laura."
Damian peered at the screen doubtfully. "It's a chick flick."
"It's a noir classic!" Nick declared. "It's fabulous!"
"Fabulous is such a gay word, and it's still a chick flick."
"Guess it proves I'm gay after all then, doesn't it?" Nick
grinned.
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A Strong Hand
by Catt Ford
"No one just turns gay overnight." Damian didn't know
quite what he was hoping Nick would say in answer to that.
"Did you ever date a guy before?"
"Never really thought about it," Nick admitted. "I went out
with a lot of girls, but I never saw stars, you know. Sex was
fine, it was pleasant "
"Pleasant?" Damian groaned. "That's tragic. Sex should be
amazing, stupendous, earth-shaking "
"Well, I didn't know any better." Nick paused to think for a
moment. "Somehow it never worked out with any of them
either. And some of them were nice girls."
"Beautiful?" Damian teased.
"I nailed my share," Nick said crassly. "But I never felt that
sense of connection, like I wanted to be around them all the
time."
Damian was too afraid to ask if it was different with him.
He acknowledged his own cowardice with a rueful smile, but
he didn't want to hear it if the answer was no. "What do you
think your parents would say?"
"As long as I'm not risking my life, they'll be fine," Nick
said. "Funny how a major life-threatening accident can put
things in perspective."
"That's true. I'm sure they'd rather have you gay than not
at all." Very casually, Damian asked, "Any regrets about all
this?"
A slow smile spread over Nick's face. He pulled Damian
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