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Marge decided not to go into her own origins right then.
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"Can you help me?"
The strange little man scratched his head. "Well, I don't know. You don't
happen to know which potion, do you, or have a residual sample from the
bottle?"
"The bottles were gone when the couple was discov-
ered, and with them the brand name."
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"Well, describe the symptoms fully."
She did so, sparing no detail.
Harbottle just listened, and when he was up-to-date he said, "It has to be a
very old formula. I haven't heard of this combination in must be seven, eight
hundred years, at least. You've a very old-fashioned wizard here, or he's got
one devil of a cellar. Still, wait a few moments and
I'll see what I can do."
He seemed to disappear again behind the dutch door.
She wasn't tall enough to see much of what was inside, but he must not have
been too tall himself to vanish so completely from sight from sight, but not
hearing; the noises that began coming out of the stall were incredible.
It began with the simple clinking of glass and then the
93
JACK L. CHALKER
sound of mortar and pestle, but soon all sorts of things started happening.
Once it sounded as if a whole barnyard was in there, and once a huge cloud of
foul-smelling purple smoke arose from the floor and she heard Harbottle say,
"Oops! Oh, dear!"
Finally the strange head popped up again, and a chubby arm held up a vial of a
swirling orange liquid that seemed to smoke a little. "I had to compromise a
few ingredients,"
he told her, "because some of the better stuff just isn't made anymore.
Here take it."
She reached up and took it; she found it warm but not too hot to hold. She
sniffed it, and turned up her nose.
"Phew\ Smells awful!"
"Tastes worse," Harbottle assured her. "That's one of the Rules, you know.
Poisons and potions all taste won-
derful, while treatments and antidotes taste like mil-
dewed, broiled swampwater. You should feel lucky. Many of them are far fouler
than that one, and are nearly impos-
sible to administer."
"It's going to be a good trick just administering this stuff. How much should
I give to them and what will it do?"
"Damned if I know, actually. I'd say divide it roughly equally and get them
each to drink as much of it as pos-
sible. The more they get inside them, the more complete the results will be.
And because of the substitutions, there
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ods%203%20-%20Vengeance%20of%20the%20Danc.txt may be some odd side effects, or
it might not be totally effective. He has a wife and magic sword you say?"
"Yes. I have the sword, anyway."
"The wife would also be handy. However, the sword has its own life and
identity, and it can aid its owner in many ways. If he takes it, the sword
will at least weaken the spells that may go along with the potion. There may
also be physical side effects because of the cross-racial nature of the
romance, as it were, but most should be temporary."
"Urn thanks a lot. Any ideas on how I get them to drink this?"
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JACK L. CHALKER 95
VENGEANCE OF THE DANCING GODS
"You came for a Mickey and I gave you a treatment.
I can't be expected to come up with everything."
She was grateful to the strange little man, no matter what, and she suddenly
became acutely aware of just how distant she'd become from the real world.
"I I'm afraid
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I haven't anything to pay with right now."
"Oh, that's all right I'll just put it on Ruddygore's tab. If you see him,
however, you might remind him that
I haven't seen a payment in almost a hundred and seventy-
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